I’m just tryin to help YOU out

On my way into the office, there was a woman in front of me who was wearing a skirt. She was carrying a pretty big shoulder bag (like a laptop bag or something) and the bag rubbing up against her while she was walking made her skirt ride up on one side. She was walking like she was unaware, and by the time she took a few more steps and turned a corner, her entire entire right azz cheek was showing–pantyhose, floral drawz, sp.an.x and all. I ran up to her and whispered to her about her situation, cuz I know that if it were me I’d want someone to let me know. She got mad at me and told me that I shouldn’t have been looking at her nether regions. I just told her I thought I’d save her the embarrassment. She wrinkled up her face and uttered a barely audible thank you. Ummmm….ok *makes screwface and walks away from that one*

Anyway, I seem to be the resident therapist with all of my friends. They’re always telling me all their business asking for honest feedback. I don’t mind so much, but I can’t stand when people ask for my honest opinion but get mad when my opinion isn’t what they wanted to hear. I got an email from my homie from college. He was mad because his ex-wife wants him to spend more time with his son, but he feels that he shouldn’t have to do that because he pays $ in child support every two weeks. I told him that is the dumbest thing I ever heard, on his part. $ doesn’t equal time and love. He got mad at that and told me he was going to try and sue her for emotional distress. He said spending time with a kid every few weeks is hard on him. But when I mentioned that she spends damn near 24/7 with their son, he got all offended. Bruh, don’t get mad at me cuz I told your fool azz the truth. Another chick I work with asked for my opinion about her dude. He lives with her, doesn’t have a job, she’s paid off nearly $5500 worth of debt for him, but he insists on having an open relationship and will come home at all kinds of hours of the night. I told her that he’s a piece of dog isht and that he’s using her. She got mad and told me that I don’t want to see anyone happy. Well, if paying some trifling man’s debt is what you call happy, then I want no part of it.

Ummmmm….ok, I was really just trying to help you out but whateva. Don’t come to me when he leaves your broke behind cuz you couldn’t afford to pay his bills anymore. *sigh* If you don’t want the truth, don’t ask me.