RIP Michael…

I can’t take it this week. Ed McMahon dies, the deadliest crash in DC Metro history happened basically down the street, Farrah Fawcett died today and then I got this news and my heart just dropped. Michael Jackson died today. I loved this man with all of my little girl soul. I knew the most useless facts about him and bragged that he shared a birthday with my stepdad.

From humble beginnings at 2300 Jackson Street, to The Jackson 5, to The Jacksons, to Off The Wall, to Thriller, to Bad, to Dangerous, to HIStory, and beyond…I fell in love with him around age 5 and had that unconditional-type love people have for their favorite artist. Hell, in high school I was voted “most likely to marry a Jackson”. I seriously own ALL of his and the Jackson 5/Jacksons songs and have ALL of the Jackson 5 cartoons on VHS. I have ALL of his videos, a lunchbox, and the Billie Jean poster. Yall just don’t know…young (and old) me love love loved some MJ.

I can’t believe when I heard the news I just pulled the car over and said a prayer.

Rest In Peace Michael.

P.S.-I’m choosing to remember the good music and the good aspects of his life at this time. If you have a negative comment, I’m going to ask that you refrain from leaving it right now out of respect for those of us who are deeply saddened.

Happy Daddy’s Day!

I just looked at the date and realized that it’s Juneteenth as well. Happy day, and another reason to cookout!

D and I are headed up to see my fam in NY this weekend and also to wish my stepdaddy a Happy Father’s Day. I’m so lucky that he took on the job that my dad just can’t seem to get right. He’s also done a good job pinch hitting for my mom–she’s not the type to care about emotional well-being, but he is so he’s helped me grow a lot in that area. I haven’t been home for Father’s Day in a while, so it’ll be nice to actually be able to give him a hug on Sunday morning rather than trying to send e-hugs and whatnot.

I hope all you fathers (and moms who have to be fathers at times) enjoy your day and have a great weekend. Hugs to you all!

Sick…The View from the Couch

So I’m home sick for the third day in a row. Who the hell gets the flu in the middle of June?? I guess that’d be me, obviously. But being on the couch all day has given me the chance to get caught up on some TV watching. Comedy all day.

A Maury episode was on where the men were really controlling and the women were meek little mild things trying to assert themselves. Of course they had the guest on who was in a wheelchair, paralyzed by her controlling abusive arse husband and the “motivational speaker” guest who’d been in prison for beating on his woman.

The paralyzed lady showed the girls how hard it is to live as a handicapped person while the man took the boys to jail to try and scare them straight. By the end of the show all the men were sorry and all but one couple stayed together.

Then came an episode with a girl testing 50-11 dudes who may be the father of her kid(s). You are not the father!!! $%^&*( and tears ensue. Run backstage, yell and scream at dude. Same ish different people. But somehow you get drawn to the trainwreck.

Change channels to “The V.iew” watch the women cackle about whatever hot topic was on. Watch them coo over some makeovers or something. Catch Jada Pinkett-Smith on the show. Set DVR to record that new show she’s in.

Change to the news. Daaaaaamn. We’re on some end of days-type path right now. People getting shot up at the museum, white supr.emacists living down the street, finding dead bodies next to an elementary school, another kidnapping, economy gone bad, never ending rain. Catch us on the 6PM news.

Take a nap, wake up in time for Dr. Phil. Seriously? You’re still on TV? Still giving “let’s get real” advice. I guess if that kind of thing works for you. If you like it I love it.

Change the channel to the judge shows. Whhhyy whyyyy oh whyyy does it have to always be Starqueeda with the hard orange weave suing Ray Ray ‘nem over an unpaid cable/cellphone bill or trying to sue Booomquisha cuz she stole her man and wants pain and suffering? Or why is it the crazy azz cat lady suing because someone reported her nasty cat hoarding behind to the police? Or better yet, Becky ‘nem suing the hell out of the whole sorority house cuz someone effed up and didn’t pay their part of the bill for the trip to Cancun. “OMG, don’t you know my dad’s a laywer!!??”

Oooh, Opr.ah is on. All those that eshew Jesus in favor of Lady O, it’s time for church.

Another nap, hey I do have the flu after all.

Yay D made me soup! Yay again, my bestie came to chill for a while! News on again, hilarious warning about not taking Vi.agra off the street. Dude in GA got some that was laced with growth hormone and had to go to the ER to get his hard times adjusted. Crying laughter. D just shaking his head.

Bestie’s on her way home. Turn to one of the celeb-following TV shows. “Ohnoshedidn’t….” “Jen, Brad, Angie….” Me: zzzzzzzzzzzz……..

Wake up in time for late night TV. Laugh and zzzzzzzzz…….

Wake up in the am and start all over again and that’s where I am now. It’s about time for a nap. Sick days are great. *rolling eyes*

Sleep Ninja

So here’s how my afternoon went yesterday…

2 PM and I’m still thinking about how good that sandwich and soup were. Perfect crusty bread, still warm from the oven, the spinach, the provolne cheese…zzz…*snap back awake* Time to focus on the upcoming audit. Move some files around, click on a few screens.

But that lunch was sooo good. The perfect spice in the french onion soup. Mmmm, soup in a bread bowl. Yummmm….zzzz…*commencing food coma in 3, 2, 1….*…zzzzz…..zzzzz*SLAM!*

The sound was sort of like a thud. The last time I jolted awake so hard a tree had fallen on a car a few blocks away. I woke up with a splitting headache, reached up touched my head, and felt a knot forming.

Yeah, so I actually fell asleep so hard that I my head slammed into my desk. Thank goodness no one was near my workstation when it happened, but for the rest of the day I kept getting comments like “Daaaaamn, what happened to your head?”. My boss was in meetings all afternoon, so I managed to avoid having an ‘important discussion’ about my -itis mishap.

Note to self: Don’t eat a heavy lunch at work. Stick to salads and a walk. Sleep is a dangerous summamabitch.

Decisions

I’ve stayed away from blogging for the last week or so not for lack of interest, but because I was wondering if I put too much of myself out there. You know, wondering if I’m too open about my life for such a public forum. I was also wondering if my blog was starting to get too “dark” so to speak.

After my recent posts about my struggles with depression, I got a lot of emails–some disturbing and some not so much. A few were thanking me because they saw themselves in me and decided to try and get some help. For those emails, I’m truly thankful.  A few others were condemming me and explained that no Christian would attempt to take their own life, they’d never have sex before marriage, and a litany of other things that made me in their words “a hideous negress”.

I’m a grown woman so I can handle criticism as it comes (especially in the form of anonymous emails) — after all, that is part of the definition of adulthood, but I did pause for a while. I wondered if I was exposing too much and perhaps opening myself and my family up to something worse than a few raucous anonymous emails. I thought, I discussed with D and my friends, and finally decided to keep on doing what I’m doing. I don’t write about my friends or D without their permission and I’m okay with putting myself out there (to a point).

I truly believe that if anything I write about or go through can help someone or make them happy, then that’s a blessing. Otherwise, it’s my corner of the blogosphere and if you hate it…deuces…if you love it, stay a while. I’m not going anywhere.  My job’s insanity has kept me from posting as frequently as I’d like (and I’m really just too lazy to post from home), but I’m still here. Decision made.

Things I Don’t Understand…

- Why radio stations bleep out the word “se.x” in the Birt.hday Se.x song, but don’t bleep out the word “sexy”

- Why ads for payday loans and car title loans seem to only be on the urban radio/TV stations. I’ve never caught one of those ads on the Top 40 mix or rock station.

- Why the people at the nail shop always look over each other’s shoulders and comment on the work they’re doing

- Why my job seems to be the seventh dimension of the ghetto vortex. No one’s ever wrinkled their nose at me because I don’t have excessive drama until I got to this place. These people demolished two servers going online for Op.rah’s free K.FC coupon which might not be an issue for a big company, but there are only about 60 employees. We are an inter/intranet driven company which means no work got done for about 5 hours until the servers were fixed.

- Why some chicks and men can barely take care of themselves, can’t boil water, can’t keep a decent house, can’t keep a positive checking account balance, or a credit card under the limit but insist on dating only a “good man” or a “good woman” with an ivy league pedigree, a chef’s soul, and an 850 FICO score.

- Why my neighbor puts on 12 pounds of makeup to go running in the 75-80 degree heat, but can’t for the life of her figure out why her skin is jacked the hell up

- Why the people at the oil change place get salty when a girl knows her way around her car. “Naw son, don’t try and run that okie doke on me about a 40,000 mile service or tell me that my air filter is dirty….if you didn’t notice, that air filter you showed me isn’t even from the brand of vehicle I drive”

- Why C.ia.lis and V.ia.gra commercials are on during dinner time, but there are no condom commercials on at that time. And people wonder why we’re still having issues with unwanted pregnancies and debating the morality of “choice”.

- Why I have to go to the “hood” Target/drugstore/etc to find makeup shades for my skin tone. Shouldn’t all the colors be in all the stores?

- Why people put rims on busted up hoopdies. Putting chromed out anything on your 1987 Honda CRX or that IROC-Z doesn’t increase it’s value.

- Why middle schoolers are asking for smartphones. What exactly are they trying to organize?

- Why the GOP never seems to be happy. They’re riding this Sotom.ayor racism thing into the ground. Ru.sh Limba.ugh is trying to rip this woman a new one over one comment she made, but he’s quick to forget that his own mouth has gotten his behind in trouble more than once. Pot, meet kettle.

- Why the shoes I want are never available in my size

- Why there are still crackheads. This stuff has been around for decades, and we’ve all seen first hand people like this:

So why would anyone willingly try that ish?