Nail Lady: “You get eyebrows today? $8″

Me: “Nope, just nails today”

Nail Lady: “Great! You do eyebrows! $8!”

Me: “No eyebrows today, thanks though”

Nail Lady: “You come back here *motioning to the back of the shop* with me when nails dry for eyebrows! $8!!”

Me: “LOOK! I’m not getting my damn eyebrows waxed today. Okay!? Stop asking me and stop telling me!”

Nail Lady: “Oooh you get so ghetto when you mad! Funny lady!”

Me: “For real?? You can’t conjugate a verb the right way to ask me if I’ll be getting my eyebrows waxed today, but you know about ghetto?? Ehhhh??

Nail Lady: *blank stare* Your total $35 for today. Thank you!!

Seriously, what in the entire hell? They haven’t had much traffic since they’ve opened and now I see why. Plus my nails were all jacked up and I had to get her to fix it twice. I’ll be going back to my usual spot next time.

Happy New Year!

D and I went to dinner and I had a get together with my girls last weekend. Life is good right now and I’m riding this wave of happiness

D and her didn’t always have the best relationship, but like with many things time healed a lot and they became very close after D and I stareted dating. Her and I had a special bond, and even during our wedding she gave me a wink of approval as we said vows.

Although we had some time to say our goodbyes, and D was able to see her a few days ago, things are still sad. Of course, death brings out the worst in some people so there will be struggles between family members in the weeks to come. We are, however, relieved that she is not suffering and passed quietly in her sleep.

Final details are still being worked out but we think the funeral weill be on Monday. My poor hubs has taken things kind of hard, but has managed to crack a smile here and there. My family even wants to come down to give their final respects, but even if they can’t we know where their hearts are.

She has gone gently into the night, onto eternal rest with the Lord.

Rest in perfect peace Grandma Hattie. You are loved.

-I can understand why some people get a little bitter/jealous/otherwise not really feelin’ it on this day, but to have an all out “I Hate Valentine’s Day” funk and be mad at people in relationships for the whole week doesn’t make sense

-I witnessed a proposal on the train today. Hmm. Not sure how I feel about that.  A proposal on a funky, crowded subway. I think she said yes but the poor thing was mortified.

-I like the holiday and all, but my favorite day is really February 15th when all of the Valentine’s Day candy is 75% off

-This is V-Day #5 for D and I. Yay Team D&T. I can’t believe time is going so fast. We’re aging like fine wine

-We NEVER ever go out to eat, but always order pizza instead. Our first V-day together we were snowed in my apartment and had to order in. So this is our way to celebrate that. Go ahead and say “awww” or wrench your face up wtih the “you two make me sick” look.

-There needs to be a moratorium on older, typically white (no offense here…just observation) women wearing head to toe red on this day. Yep, we see the calendar too. We know what day it is.

-Why oh why did I see white tights with red hearts all over them à la little girl-wear, but for grown arse women?? I would call the fashion emergency 911 line if I saw someone in those at my job.

-I’m still trying to make sense of the crazy arse V-day weave I saw yesterday. I tried to get a picture, but couldn’t. This thing was candy apple red, with white feathers sticking out the top of the bun-thingy that was at the back of her head. Three layers of finger waves that looked like lizard scales. I don’t understand. This will be the same chick hollerin about how she can’t get a damn job. Personal expression be damned. Jesus be a shampoo bottle and some sense.

-So when did red velvet become the ambassador of Valentine’s Day? I’ve seen red velvet cake, cupcakes, donuts, muffins, whoopee pies, ice cream, and frozen yogurt all to mark the occasion. Too much of a good thing is very very bad.

-My co worker has been trying to lose weight for this holiday. She’s like…”I gotta be ready to take pics for Fac.eb.ook with the big ass bouquet of flowers that I’m suuuuure my boo is gonna have sent to the job”. It’s almost 11AM and there are no flowers yet.

That’s just how life has been for me lately. Right now, I’m working full time (obviously) but I’m also taking 18 credits too. Six classes plus a 45-50 hour work week (that it takes me 1.5 hours each way to commute to) equals me left with damn near zero extra time and a whole lot of “want to dos” and nothing checked off of the list. Thank the stars above D is really good about cooking dinner and making sure I slow down enough to get some quality time for myself, for the two of us, and time for me to hang out with my girlfriends. I don’t know what man is like “go see your girls, they miss you”, but I lucked out with this one.

Taking 18 credits was not in my plan for this semester, but your girl is trying to get things done quickly and be done by the end of summer. Attempting to work on a thesis while riding the subway gets old. Very quickly, but this is my life right now. D and I also work opposite shifts, so we’re not really home together very often (we see each other about 2 hours a day during the week if we’re lucky). So this baby making thing is a joke right now. We know me working on this grad school ish is best for my career right now and he’s also in trainng since he got a promotion (he’s now a firearms instructor, yay!) so when baby D&T does decide to make his/her entrance into the world, his/her parents won’t be trying to pack school, work, home, and everything else into our lifves as parents and we can actually be a less chaotic family.

For what it’s worth, though I wouldn’t want it any other way right now. The chaos is perfect and is reminding us about what’s important. We’re both super tired, but in the end we’ll be making more $ with less work…funny how that works, right? We’ll also be able to slow down a bit. The light is dim at the end of the tunnel right now, but it’s shining and getting brighter with every passing day.

I’m still here, I’m still writing…hopefully the next time I post won’t be on another sick day. Your girl cannot afford to be sick in the midst ofchaos.

I have a really long commute to work every day, so I drive halfway then take the train the other half into the city. So, of course I’m on Metro all.the.time and see stupid people doing stupid ish frequently. Today took the cake for me, though.

 As usual, there was some kind of problem with the rails on the train line I was taking (Red Line for any of you ‘round these parts) so we had all kinds of delays and people packed sardine-style into the few trains that seemed to be running. Ok, fine I guess. Nothing better than some early morning closeness to get my Monday started. At every stop, more people packed up in that joint to the point it felt like people were about to have to start crowd-surfing just to get out when they needed to. Luckily, I got on at the end of the line and was able to stake out a corner and some oxygen. I was hoping to get a seat this morning since I have a bad back and cold weather makes it act up even worse, but I was pleased with my little standing-room corner given the circumstances. I actually had enough space to turn sideways and not breathe someone’s stank azz dragon-flavored morning breath. Yay for small victories!

 Or so I thought. Five or so stops in (I ride for 11 stops), some lady smashes her way into the train with a big, humongous stroller with a little teeny baby inside. Like seriously, this stroller had to be the size of Vietnam. Small armies and several homeless trolls could probably live comfortably in the space that thing took up. Mind you, we’re already squeezed up on top of each other like lepers in a singles bar when she decides it’s the right time to take the train with her little bundle of joy. Morning rush is already a bad time to bring little Junior out for a ride on the subway, but this morning was the worst timing anyone could have.

Anyway, after about 10 minutes and an announcement that we’d be delayed even further, a smell started wafting through the air. The odor was, umm….organic, and extremely unpleasant. Much like rotting garbage and sewer. The faces all around me started crinkling up in disgust and looking around at each other as if to ask, “yo…was that you??!!”. When suddenly we all heard clear as day, “Awwww wittle baby went poopy?? Let’s check you out! Ohhhhh yeah, boobie had a big stinky in his didey!!”

 Really, the baby decided right then was the best time to drop a massive deuce. Most parents would either get off at the next stop so they could take the kid to the bathroom and change him or do their best to make something work till they got where they were going then do a quick-fast diaper change. But of course, not this lady. She decided to pull some type of transformer move with her stroller so the top turned into some crude changing table and proceeded to change the baby’s diaper right there. Baby wipes and powder and putting the dirty, stanky diaper in a little plastic bag and all. Mind you, we are on a VERY crowded, moving train. I’m fairly certain some poor soul caught a full frontal of baby ass and a load of baby poo. Poor soul. Even if you have kids, this is not what you expect to see on your way to work.

 This maneuver caused more of us to be smashed even closer together so she could have some space. I’m all for parents doing what they gotta do, but this mess was ridiculous. I got off a few stops later, thank goodness but I’m afraid what else she may have subjected riders to.

1) I yell at teenagers to pick up their feet when they scuffle by in their run-down Uggs. That wouldn’t be so bad, but I sound just.like.my.mama!

2) I have met “bunion” and “corn” and now own the Dr. Scholl’s remedies for both.

3) A late night now means hoping I make it until Conan O’Brien comes on

4) I WANT to get carded when I buy liquor or scratch-off tickets because that means I don’t look my age

5) I don’t mind being called “ma’am” so much anymore. Respect me gotdammit!

6) I commute to work in flat shoes with the intention of  changing into heels at work, but end up staying in the flats for comfort’s sake. Fashion be damned.

7) Speaking of shoes, I’ve learned that stilettos are best admired from afar. If they’re on my feet, I’m sitting down. There are standing/walking heels and be cute sitting on a chair heels

8. ) People ask me when D and I will have kids, and they’re no longer being sarcastic, like “awwww, the cute lil kids are married now. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Tasha with the baby carriage”. They are dead.azz serious like, “umm…you know fertility has a time limit, right?”

9 ) I’ve exclaimed some version of, “turn that ratchet azz music down! You kids don’t know what good music is!”

10) Clothing that I own has gone out of and now come back in style. People think I’m being super trendy when I’m wearing something super old.

11) At the end of a hard day at work when I say, “Oh my back! Oh my hip!” I’m not joking

12) I’m starting to become afraid of certain teenagers

13) I don’t understand all the text speak. I need translators to read my niece’s Fac.eb.ook status updates sometimes

14) I owe Sal.lie Mae my soul. (wait, that hasn’t changed since I was 19)

15) I’ve heard little children say, “you and my mommy are the same age”

16) I’m no longer embarassed to go shopping with my mom or her friends like I was as a teenager. I actually want to go with her, especially on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I can use her senior citizen discount

17) I don’t get excited by driving anymore. I’ve had my license for well over a decade. I’m over it. Just get me where I gotta go. And stay to the right if you’re gonna go 55 in a 65 mph zone, please.

18) The only real “snail mail” I get anymore are bills. “Amount Due”, we are not friends.

19) 30 is no longer “Ugggh! OLD!!”, it’s now my (almost) reality, and I intend on being 30 forever. Right now, I’m celebrating several anniversaries of turning 25, but my age will soon end in zero again and I’ll be that age till I join AARP.

This morning when I got up I saw a layer of white and that shiny sheen on top. That means ice-covered snow, and of course no announcement from the j-o-b that they were closed for the day. I laced up the boots and headed out to clean my car. As soon as I stepped out of my front gate, however I developed a case of James Brown-itis and couldn’t keep my feet still. Slip and slide, slip and side, side to side, and finally down to the ground. Now if you’ve ever seen a (not so small) woman with her feet going 900 miles per hour under her trying to stay upright while carrying a work day’s worth of papers and lunch, then you’ve seen me. Hell, that was probably me you heard cussing and fussing as I struggled to get myself back up. I’m sure your girl looked like the daggone Road Runner trying to get up. “Meeep Meeeep yall”

Anyway, I made it work safely, and slowly with a sore azz and a sore ego to match. I hope if you’re out there in this ish, you have better luck then I did. If you’re lucky enough to be somehwere with some sand and sun, please feel free to send some my way. Get at me if you need my address