After the kickboxing class debacle at the gym a while back, I haven’t had it in me to go back. I’ve been back to the gym, but to that class—absolutely not. I wasn’t about to subject myself to another random butt whoopin’, sucker punchin’ sparring session at the hands of an over-zealous instructor. I don’t enjoy being in pain.
I saw that the insane instructor had been replaced, so I decided to give it another shot. I figured the worst it could be would be to have Richard Simmons show up in some red and white spandex and some crisp Reebok Classics telling us to “Sweat! Sweat and kick with the oldies!” I really like the concept of cardio-kickboxing class, so I figured I’d tough it out no matter what.
Maybe I should have waited until the evening class, because 5AM was definitely not the right time to be laughing so hard. I got in the classroom, and standing before me was none other than Bruce Lee Jenkins himself! I swear I caught a sniff of Hai Karate cologne and could hear “Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting, those cats were fast as lightning…” somewhere in the distance. I had officially entered the Tae KwoNeg-ro dojo of kickblackboxing. Sho Nuff and Right On.
I could barely hold my laughter in looking at this s-curl afro having dude wearing some type of gi-dashiki hybrid and a Daniel-san headband. “Wekkome sstudenss to my kickboxing class. Dis mornin’ we gon get the mind and body connection togevah so we can do da kickboxing thang da right way. Dis in’t juss an a-roe-bick undertaking. We gon get our souls skraight and we gon be kick to the boxing.”
I heard that and couldn’t help but sing to myself the commercial from the movie Coming to America, “Just let your SOUL glooooow, feeling oh so silky smooth, just let it shine throooouuuuggghhh”. I guess I was laughing out loud because Sensei Jenkins (I don’t know his real name) said to me, “Miss ladeeeee, it be a time for quieting yo’ soul right now, not for laughing”. So I shut up and listened.
Surprisingly, he led us through a pretty good mind-quieting pseudo meditation session and then through a great cardio kickbox workout. Although, while we were getting our workout on, he did say “Dats right soul mama” and “My brotha, you working it out!” a few times to me and a few of the other class participants. Everyone in the class seemed to enjoy it and all of us said we’d be back. I’ll definitely have to make this a regular part of my gym schedule.
If I don’t get a good workout from his class, at least I’ll work my abs from laughing so much. Maybe I’ll buy him a bottle of S-curl activator spray for Christmas because his ‘fro is so special. This is going to be a fun 8 weeks!