Well, I hope everyone had a safe and happy New Years. I got all kinds of lit up, acted a damn fool, and got back all in one piece–yay for the train system and a bunch of crazy ass, great friends!
Anyway, enough of that.I’m back on the plantation, and you’d think that with a new year, people would act like they had a shred of human decency, at least for the first week of the year. But no. Heeeell no.
As you can tell from a recent post, we interviewed a bunch of potential new hires and hired a new person. Well you would think that on your very first day of work you wouldn’t be on the offensive and try to run shit, especially if you’re a regular staff member. No management duties. None of that.
Nope, just coming up in to a new job tombout (yup, I said tombout) “Yall aint gotta train me on that computer program and how to do this job. I already know that stuff. You aint gotta teach me nuffin’. You can’t teach me what I already know”.
Shit changes after the interview and the job offer I see. She was all nice and professional during the interview, but today she was on some “Exorcist” mess.
Me: “You need to learn our systems and how we run our processes and how we enter data and all that, so you will be going to orientation and training for your first week.”
New Hire Biyotch: “I told you I know how to do all that already. I used this system at my old job”
Me: “Ok, that’s all well and good, but we have different data handling requirements, and processes. Basically you need to learn all the duties of your job”
NHB: “Well BASICALLY this job is going to get done the way I want to do it anyway, so why not just give the instructions on paper and leave me to do my work.”
(Thinking to myself: Back down bitch, you don’t know me. I’m REALLY not in love with your tone right now)
Me: “You’ll get those instructions. But you need to go to orientation…wait you know what, sit right here I’ll be right back”
See, I’m not her direct manager, so I was in a sense powerless right then. But as I was telling ol’ girl that she needs to take her lil triflin wanna-be manager ass to orientation, I saw her manager and motioned for him to come closer to me. I told her to wait a second and went over to him and let him know all about this fool. I told him to listen to the rest of our conversation since I just knew she was going to show her ass, and he could make a decision about her from there.
Me: “Sorry about that, but your orientation will begin at 2:30, so until then you can go get lunch or take a break”
NHB: “I already told you I don’t need orientation. Just give me my papers”
Her manager: “Miss Hoodrat. (name changed obviously) I need to speak with you a moment in my office”
I went back to my office, and not all of 10 minutes later, heffa walks past while screaming on her cellphone about how fucked up it is that she got fired on the first day and how we don’t know talent when we see it. “Dey need to Reca’nize my skills! Dis dat bullshit, they fired ME!! Baby, come pick me up and get a Dutch”
4 hours! That’s gotta be a new record from start-to-fired. Damn, it’s only the second day of the year and I’m ready for a vacation.