The randomness for this Monday…
Uggghh, I think I’m officially too old to listen to the music on the radio that the DJs refer to as hip-hop. Maybe we as the listeners are being punked by the current breed of artists out there. The songs kind of meld together in my brain and I get something like this: “Put my ‘Chicken noodle soup and a soda on the side’ in the ‘Icebox where my heart used to be’. ‘My lipgloss is poppin and my lipgloss is cool’ because ‘She’s fine too, but I want You’. ‘If you were my B-U-D-D-Y’, then I’d be able to say ‘This is why I’m hot’. I’d ‘Toot that thang up…Pop, Lock, and Drop’ but I’m too busy trying to act ‘Like a Boy’.
I really think in-person customer service is dead. Hunny and I went car shopping over the weekend and we stopped at one dealership to test drive a new truck. The sales lady we got was the most ghetto-ass horrible chick EVER!! We walked up to a Tahoe and she said “This is a Tahoe, it’s blue”. Nothing at all about the engine, what year, or anything of that nature. We asked for the keys to take it for a drive, and instead of taking a copy of both of our licenses, she only made a copy of Hunny’s. When I told her that I wanted to test drive the vehicle also she had the nerve to come out of her mouth with, “Ehhh, you must be from the Boogie Down Bronx with an attitude like that”. Foul on the play, hold up…what did you say?? Lemme calm down a second “Yeah, I’m from the Bronx by way of Upstate. You from there?” “No. I just know about the attitude and my girl’s man is from there”. You know what, let’s get this test drive over and leave cuz I might come out of my mouth with something un-ladylike. It just seems like people get hired for a job and forget that they have some home training, then get to work and act like heathens.
I officially dislike Hunny’s dad’s people. Not all of them, but well…most of ’em. He doesn’t really like them either, so I don’t feel bad. Yesterday, we went for Easter dinner at his gramma’s house (his dad’s mom). When we got there, all of his mom’s side of the family were in the family room and all of his dad’s people were in the dining room. We arrived a little late, so we were forced to eat dinner in the dining room with all of the stodgy people. The whole time, I could tell that his aunt was some wannabe bougie woman with nothing better to do than tell other people how ‘right’ she is and tell them how to live their lives. I can tell that her and I are going to have some run ins later on. It’s terrible too, because Hunny, his mom, and all of his sisters feel the same way about this aunt…so they said they would back me up if and when it comes to blows, lol. The very first time I met Meema (Hunny’s mom) and his sisters, they warned me about her. I’m glad they did too, cuz otherwise I might not have been prepared for the stupidity. How you gon’ tell somebody to stay out of the hood when you live in the trenches yourself??? Ohhh, my brain hurts just thinking about that woman so I’m gonna just stop.
So since Easter was yesterday and all, I figured I would see people out and about dressed in their best, but I kept seeing women in brightly colored tracksuits looking like displaced jellybeans. This:
is completely unacceptable if you look like the last time you saw a track was to attend the Melrose Games in 1979 or if the only track you know of got sewn onto your hair. And there is NO need to be wearing a teal blue velour creation with an orange cami and bright orange Pumas. Seriously, if you’re at the store and the saleslady comes at you with some mess like that, JUST SAY NO!!!
Speaking of just saying no, I think my neighbor needs some D.A.R.E. classes or something. I was walking out of my apartment this afternoon just as her dude was coming out and it was like “Half Baked”, “Harold and Kumar do White Castle”, “Cheech and Chong”, and “How High” in the flesh. Just plumes of weed smoke and dirty looking cornrows. He said, “Mornin. On my way to work ya dig?” Puhleeeeeze negro, it’s 2PM. Morning is long gone, and the only thing you’re working on is a trip to jail. Piss poor. At least get some Visine for those bloodshot eyes, homey.
My J-O-B asked me to wait another week before I start. Dammit man, I’m not the Bank of Tasha. I gotta work to pay these bills. Comcast ain’t free and I ain’t no golddigger. Can a sista get an unemployment check or something? I like the freedom, but I’m seriously bored. This housewifey shit is for the birds. I can only go to the gym so much. I mean I’ve lost like 8 lbs. cuz I’ve been at the gym like a fool. And I love Hunny to death and lunch with him every day is super, but…you know what I’m sayin.
Maybe I should go do something productive…