Bridesmaid Blues

Some people like drama too damn much, so when there isn’t any to be found they go and create some. Even at their friends’ expense.

I’ve been engaged for less than a month now, and already people are trying to turn this wedding into some kind of Bridezilla blowup. We haven’t set a date for our jaunt down the aisle just yet, let alone ask people to be in the wedding. All we know is that we want a small-ish event since we’ll be footing the bill ourselves, and because we’re both really low-key people.

Before the “Yes, I’ll marry you” was completely out of my mouth, the phone was ringing and our email inboxes were full.

Somebody please tell me how it’s okay to email someone and ask that you allow them to be your maid of honor or best man. I’ve gotten 5 different requests from people that all begin something like this:

“…Tasha, congratulations on getting engaged. I can’t wait to see you two as an old married couple. I forgot your fiancé’s name, I’ll have to look at fac.e.bo.ok again, but he’s cute. You’re cute too, and I think the wedding will be great! I want to help you plan it!! I have one question, do you think I could be your maid of honor? We’ve known each other since 1985, so that would be hot to have an old friend in your ceremony. You know, something old something new something borrowed and something blue. Just let me know…”

Poor D has gotten similar emails, just altered to fit the request to be a best man. What.the.piss? You don’t go around soliciting maid of honor and best man invites. Damn. We know who we’re going to ask to be in those positions already (and have known for years, but we just haven’t asked yet), so please stop!

When I turned these people down via phone and via email, a few decided to bad mouth us and say they were going to boycott the wedding. Ummm, fine with us…less $$ for us to pay on your plate at the reception! Seriously though, people are trying to turn this into the W.WE main event. Name calling, sending us almost threatning letters and emails. Calling my mama and telling her that I’m a bad daughter. My lawd, what the hell is wrong with folk? Damn, can we get a month to enjoy being engaged before we get to wedding planning?? My goodness, we’re not trying to rush this whole process. Shotgun wedding this is not.

Oh and, we don’t need your help planning, cousin Kyren, thanks. Please don’t be offended when we turn your offer down. Honey, we saw what you did to your cousin’s graduation party, and we would be devastated if the same thing happened to us. Don’t bring D’s mama into this. Just don’t take it there, cuz I will get Bridezilla only if I’m forced into it, and I really don’t enjoy being mean.

Can we just keep this drama free?

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18 thoughts on “Bridesmaid Blues

  1. Great post and you know, etiquette says wait until the bride or groom asks. Don’t impose. I mean, they’re lucky they’re getting an invitation.

  2. They’re probably acting like that because they want their own weddings. If that’s the case they should plan their own weddings.

  3. LOL. People are really shameless. My mother told me that when she and my dad got married she was pissed b/c my grandmother all but forced her to “ask” my aunt to be the maid of honor…they weren’t even all that close! Girl don’t worry about them people. Like you said, more money in your pocket!

  4. Tasha, as a member of the married posse, let me tell you that this ish right here is ONLY the beginning. No matter how drama free you try to keep it, there will be something that comes up. Luckily you and D are level headed.

  5. WTF? Are you kidding me? I swear your stories are always on the next level. How dare you demand to be in my wedding when you can’t even remember my man’s name. Then to call my mom? You better not be calling my mom because she will cuss you out. My mom doesn’t play that mess. Good luck weeding out the people who want to make your wedding/marriage about THEM. Selfish mofos.

  6. @princessdominique: I think the etiquette books are holding up their coffee tables right now, cuz no body cares about their tackiness.

    @golden silence: so true. I can only imagine their weddings looking like a hot azz mess

    @Safa: that’s crazy! Was the aunt in the wedding or did they do their own thing?

    @Fresh: I keep hearing that it gets worse. Ugggh!

    @Miz JJ: People usually mess with me on another level because I’m typically pretty mellow and they want to see me go postal, I’m convinced.

  7. Now that mess is just foolish. People actually asking to be in the wedding, and above that the Maid of Honor!!! OMG, if you have to ask, then its obviously not you.

  8. As a person who stood on the side and watched a friend go thru this situation with very similar results, good luck!!! Some of ’em unfortuately you are gonna pro’lly have to slap.

    Nikita

  9. Hahaha. Been there done that. Just wait until your relatives start calling you because they’re mad you didn’t include their child in your wedding. Or random people you haven’t seen in years expect invitations. In the end, it was all worth it because the big shebang made my dad happy but I could have saved myself a lot of stress by having a destination wedding (the original plan).

  10. What in sam hell??? SERIOUSLY?

    “I forget his name, we’ve been friend forever.” Please…if she’s really been a friend since ’85, shouldn’t she know your fiancees name?!?!?! [a bit blown away here…]

    Honestly, I’m going to be in the same boat here pretty soon. We’re footing the bill, people are already demanding they get invited and we’re not even engaged yet, and on top of that they’re asking WHEN. My response is now “when you pitch in financially, we’ll speed up the process.” Puh-lease.

    The audacity of some…

  11. Congratulations!!!!! Girl, I didn’t know you were engaged! Oh my goodness, only I run up on this information in a rant post. lol Don’t let those people ruin your wedding planning. I “moonlight” as a wedding videographer (not soliciting business, trust me lol) and I get very close to couples over the course of many months and you’d be surprised how many times the bride starts to “confide” in me about how horribly people have been treating her and her fiance!!! It’s a daggone shame!

    Anyway, congrats again and enjoy it!

  12. Gosh! I can’t believe people WANT to be in weddings…man, I DREAD being asked to be a bridesmaid…

    Sorry about the drama. Maybe you should e-mail them a picture of a really horrible dress and tell them you’re thinking about this in army green…and maybe making them wear black veils over their faces….no one wants to look fat and ugly in front of a bunch of people.

  13. That is one thing I AM NOT looking forward to folks thinking they can pop up..boo you can lay down napkins before the reception that is all you can do LOL..and park the cars maybe LOL

    Umm facebook great…I wanna see him LOL…

  14. They should be embarassed to ask you.. that’s crazy.. Do what YOU want to do on YOUR day, but if you need any help… ha! jokin’..

  15. no. there is no such thing as drama-free wedding planning. sorry! one of my homies getting married def. had people ask if they could be in the wedding. if you have to ask… you’re lucky to get invited.

  16. I did not realize that people ask the bride and groom to be in the wedding. Proper manners says you wait to be asked. This is why I will be having a destination wedding if and when I do get married 10 yrs from now, LOL.

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