Happy Monday! I spent most of the weekend chilling and enjoying the weather. On Friday evening, D and I went to dinner with a former co-worker of mine from back home. She was in town on vacation with her kids and looking for jobs since she hopes to move down here soon. The dinner was nice, but her kids are something else! Her daughters are 14 and 16, and they have some mouth on them. They were cussing more than the rest of us, and the older daughter was going on about how she tried birth control but it didn’t work. Based on the look from her mama’s face she may as well have inserted foot in mouth. She tried to cover her tracks by saying “oh, I kept forgetting to take the pill, that’s what I mean”. I could tell that was some kinda lie. I’m sure her mama was all in her face about that after we had dinner and went our ways.
Saturday I handled a few outstanding errands, then took some ‘me’ time and went to the library and took out a bunch of books. I brought them home and spent the afternoon on the balcony reading and enjoying a few glasses of wine. Just lovely.
Sunday we went looking at cars for me, since I’m officially in the market again. My car is only a year old but it’s not what I want. I kind of got roped into it after the accident last year, so I decided I’ll bite the bullet and trade mine in to at least get what I really want. I might have to pay a little more per month, but at least I’ll be driving something that’s comfortable for me. Gotta pay to have what you want sometimes. Later on we went out to dinner and then hit the couch for some quality football time.
My mom called last night to shoot the breeze as usual, and the more I talk to her the more I realize just how silly she is. I love my mama!
Mom: “Have you ever seen someone and just want to smack the piss out of them?”
Me: “What!? Mom, you are on your gangsta lately”
Mom: “Child! I’m not in a gang!!”
Me: “That’s not what I mean. But anyway, why do you want to smack someone?”
Mom: “Cuz she knows better than to walk in church with her big booty and huge mammy titties hanging out. That’s the house of the Lord honey. The LORD. You don’t dress like that. No damn home training”
Me: “I hear you. But isn’t it just as bad to want to smack someone in His house?”
Mom: “This ain’t bout me *laughs*”
Me: “Yes ma’am.”
Mom: “Looking like Lacey Lottalumps the stripper or something. Like she left the club and went straight to church without changing.”
Me: “Lacey Lottalumps? What in the world???”
Mom: “Yup. Her lacey bra was showing and she had a lotta lumps. You know cottage cheese type cellulite and stuff. I know it’s not right to talk about people like that. But can you cover it up for a little while? Damn, at least wait till my breakfast is digested before you show that stuff off like that.”
Me: “Wow. Just wow mom.”
My mom is a damn fool sometimes, but ya can’t help but love her. Anyhoo, hope yall had a good weekend! What’d you get into??