I Can Feel it In the Air

Happy New Year Yall. Just clearing some mental space…

I’m not usually a big fan of New Year’s. All this ‘New Year New You’ stuff all over the place, making resolutions you know you won’t keep. I’ve always been of the mind that there’s no better time than the present to do better and be better. I can see how some people want to wait for the new year to transition away from old things…more of a mental motivation. I get it, just not for me.

But this year, something is different for me. I can feel change coming in the air. Something is brewing in my world, and I know somethings, some relationships, some of everything in my life will be coming to a crossroads soon. And for that reason, I’m putting in the extra work to make me a better me. There was a lot of old baggage that I’ve carried around for most of my life (a lot of it I didn’t even recognize as baggage anymore, I just counted it as part of me) that I let go of in the last 12-18 months, and that’s made some people uncomfortable. They knew me as the one to grouse with; the company that misery loves so much; the one who has such a fucked up life story that they listen to my story when they want to feel better about their own sorrows. They knew me as the one who they’ve hurt, the one who they’ve made feel lower than dirt. But I’ve forgiven and let it go. I’ve risen up, shaken it off, and seen myself without emotional baggage for the first time since March 1983. That makes them uncomfortable.

They’re uncomfortable because they know that forgiveness means that they’re the ones with the problem now. They have to live every day with the memory of what they put me through. Remorse turns into resentment, which will in turn become anger. I’ve seen it happen that way many times, so I know with me it will be no different. That’s why I know it’s time to make some changes for this new year. Be better, do better, know better. This way, my old baggage won’t become the molehill that would become the mountain.

This year I’m working on me, not just for me but for the people who’ve helped me to find the strength to drop the emotional, mental, and spiritual baggage and just live. I owe it to them to be the best daughter, sister, friend, and wife I can be.

Did any of you make resolutions or vows to make yourself better this year? Get at me in the comment box.


9 thoughts on “I Can Feel it In the Air

  1. My resolution in a nutshell is to step into the present and close the door on the past. A lot is wrapped up in that, but that, plus vowing to live the best life I can, is a huge step in getting me back to the me I used to be and perhaps even better than I’ve ever been before. 🙂

  2. Congrats!!! You just snuck the wife part. I’m happy for you and your hubby!

    I like this: Be better, do better, know better. That’s my motto.

  3. Hey hey! I’m not a huge fan of the New Year mantras either BUT I do believe whatever it takes to get you motivated is a plus whether it’s the beginning of a new year, start of spring or whatever. I’m all about learning and growing and I’m glad that you have people in your life who’ve been patient and supportive. There is nothing more appealing than someone who YEARNS to do better. Gotta love it. I wish you all the best on your continued journey!

    My resolution – Continue to Pray!

  4. let go and let God! i just aim each year for this one to be better than the last and in some respect it always is. cheers to doing it big no matter the year or the day!

  5. I never EVER make resoultions because I think they are kind of dumb. However, I do utilize the beginning/end of the year to take personal inventory and look at myself in a very introspective way.

    that usually helps me a great deal…

  6. I didn’t make any resolutions but I try to change myself little by little daily.

    But here’s to leaving all the baggage behind in the ’07. Those types of people sure know how to weigh a person down 🙂

    Be better, do better, know better….couldn’t have said it better myself

    Here’s to an outstanding ’08

  7. These two quotes kind of sum up my New Years resolutions.

    ” The greatest thing about tomorrow IS I will better than I am today. I will be better as a person, I will be a better wife, I will be better as a friend, (etc). That’s the beauty of tomorrow. There is no such thing as a setback. The Lessons I Learn today I will apply tomorrow and I WILL BE BETTER”.
    (by Tiger Woods, I just changed it to fit my focus)

    ” The truth will set you free, but first it will hurt your feelings” by Dr. Renita Weems.

    I’m a reqular ‘gawker’ of your blog and I just decided that I wanted to leave a comment today. Usually I wouldn’t but today is different bc of your posting.

    Much success with ‘doing it better for you.’

  8. i’m with you on the “why wait for a new year when the present is just that” tip but I def condone people who use a new year to do new things. more power to you Tasha!

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