I’m not big on being on the phone anymore. I guess I used up all my phone energy when I was in high school. Or maybe it was the job I had in a call center during summer break one year. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t enjoy the 3 hour phone convo like I used to. Call me, make your point, and get off. Unless you’re going through some serious ish, just text me. I’d prefer it.
But as much as I like to text, there are some ground rules that need to be established. I thought this stuff was common damn sense.
-Don’t skip out in the middle of our text convo.
Texter: What you doin?
Me: Chillin, getting ready to go to the mall. Whatchu doin?
***three hours go by***
Texter: Nothin, chillin.
-Don’t try the cyber-sex-text thing with me. An ex tried this mess all the time and it wasn’t cute.
Texter: What are you wearing right now? I’m wearing a wife beater and my Marvin the Maritan silk boxers
Me: Da hell?
Texter: If you were here we could make a Marvin sandwich
Me: Negro, call me later
-Don’t tell me all your damn business. Just cuz I can’t see or hear you, doesn’t mean that I can’t get the visual
Texter: Wow, I’m in the bathroom taking a serious dump right now. Ugggh! My stoooomach!
Me: Nasty fugger. Handle your business and wash your handz.
-Don’t text me long ass messages. You know we can only see 160 characters at a time. Just cuz we have QWERTY-type keyboards doesn’t mean your text message screen doubles as M.icrosoft Word
Texter: And then he called me and you wouldn’t believe what he said. Girl, he was going on and on about something *continued*
Texter: blah blah blah and this and that and this and that blah blah blah
Me: Just call me dammit. You taking up too much of my phone memory
-Please avoid the drunk text.
Texter: I’m so smashed . But I miss you I shuldnt hve left u. I love u still. Take me back
Me: You know I’m married right? Go to bed.
-Don’t send me the silly chain texts
Texter: …send this to 7 people, including myself or you’ll have a lifetime of bad luck
Me: **deletes message**
*sigh* Are there any text habits that you hate?