Texting T

I’m not big on being on the phone anymore. I guess I used up all my phone energy when I was in high school. Or maybe it was the job I had in a call center during summer break one year. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t enjoy the 3 hour phone convo like I used to. Call me, make your point, and get off. Unless you’re going through some serious ish, just text me. I’d prefer it.

But as much as I like to text, there are some ground rules that need to be established. I thought this stuff was common damn sense.

-Don’t skip out in the middle of our text convo.

Texter: What you doin?

Me: Chillin, getting ready to go to the mall. Whatchu doin?

***three hours go by***

Texter: Nothin, chillin.

-Don’t try the cyber-sex-text thing with me. An ex tried this mess all the time and it wasn’t cute.

Texter: What are you wearing right now? I’m wearing a wife beater and my Marvin the Maritan silk boxers

Me: Da hell?

Texter: If you were here we could make a Marvin sandwich

Me: Negro, call me later

-Don’t tell me all your damn business. Just cuz I can’t see or hear you, doesn’t mean that I can’t get the visual

Texter: Wow, I’m in the bathroom taking a serious dump right now. Ugggh! My stoooomach!

Me: Nasty fugger. Handle your business and wash your handz.

-Don’t text me long ass messages. You know we can only see 160 characters at a time. Just cuz we have QWERTY-type keyboards doesn’t mean your text message screen doubles as M.icrosoft Word

Texter: And then he called me and you wouldn’t believe what he said. Girl, he was going on and on about something *continued*

Texter: blah blah blah and this and that and this and that blah blah blah

Me: Just call me dammit. You taking up too much of my phone memory

-Please avoid the drunk text.

Texter: I’m so smashed . But I miss you I shuldnt hve left u. I love u still. Take me back

Me: You know I’m married right? Go to bed.

-Don’t send me the silly chain texts

Texter: …send this to 7 people, including myself or you’ll have a lifetime of bad luck

Me: **deletes message**

*sigh* Are there any text habits that you hate?


4 thoughts on “Texting T

  1. I hate texts that don’t make sense. I know with texting you can get away with misspelling or abbreviating words. But when I can’t understand what they hell “wuld” is, you going to far. (“Wuld” is would).

  2. Just because it’s a holiday, do NOT feel obligated to text me a season’s greetings message that you sent to fiftyleven other folks. You haven’t so much as rang my damn phone to say Boo in forever. That’s why your ass is no longer in my contacts list.

    Texter: Happy (insert random holiday here)! May you (insert some lame generic message here about family, loved ones, or God).

    Me (on a good day): *looks at unrecognizable number* Ummmm. Thanks, but who the hell is this?

    Me (on a regular day): *looks at unrecognizable number & deletes message*

  3. I’m not a big texter myself (visualize clumsy old lady trying to figure out how to get the ampersand to work), but when I do, I get straight to the point. Really, I prefer that you tell me what’s up vocally. It’s true, long hourly conversations are unnecessary (especially when a job requires you to be on the phone all day), but a fifteen minute catch-up call is great.

    I text those who text me, only because calling them gets me nowhere. I think you’ve laid all the irritants out nicely, though. Really, really feeling the big break between texts (three or four hours). So annoying!

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