I think I have some type of magnet built into my body that attracts completely crazy people to me. I don’t ever hear about so much crazy happening to other people, or at least not in the frequency with which it happens to me.
Anyway, I had to stop and get gas on the way to work so I stopped at Wawa to handle that and get some coffee and fruit (Oh how I heart Wawa–that’s for another day though). While I was waiting to pay, I saw the people around me start wrinkling up their faces. I honestly figured someone had passed gas and it stunk so I didn’t bother to look in the direction they were looking in. Really I should have. Note to self, when people look in one direction and look disgusted, you need to find out what the problem is.
Next thing I know I get a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and immediately wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it. Behind me was this man, dressed in what looked like a womens cable knit sweater and carpenter jeans, who had nothing but rotting blackness where his teeth should be. Jesus be a dentist and some denture cream. I turned back around because I figured he wanted me to move to the side so he could reach the candy counter. He tapped me on my shoulder again. I turned around and before I could even get my mouth fixed to ask him what he wanted, he started singing.
Man (singing): “You are the sunshine of my liiiiiiiifffeeeee…..”
Man (talking): “So what brings you here this morning?”
Me: “I’m getting gas and heading to work”
Man: “See that’s what I like, an independent woman. And you’re thick too!? I bet you would look cute on my arm at the movies”
Me: “I don’t think my husband would appreciate that much”
Man: “Well I can’t say I didn’t try. It’s always some fine women up in here!”
It was finally my turn in line and as I was leaving, I peeked over my shoulder and saw him give me the hollaback nod. I proceeded to basically sprint to the car and laugh until I cried all the way to work. I can’t take it!