Only Me

I think I have some type of magnet built into my body that attracts completely crazy people to me. I don’t ever hear about so much crazy happening to other people, or at least not in the frequency with which it happens to me.

Anyway, I had to stop and get gas on the way to work so I stopped at Wawa to handle that and get some coffee and fruit (Oh how I heart Wawa–that’s for another day though). While I was waiting to pay, I saw the people around me start wrinkling up their faces. I honestly figured someone had passed gas and it stunk so I didn’t bother to look in the direction they were looking in. Really I should have. Note to self, when people look in one direction and look disgusted, you need to find out what the problem is.

Next thing I know I get a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and immediately wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it. Behind me was this man, dressed in what looked like a womens cable knit sweater and carpenter jeans, who had nothing but rotting blackness where his teeth should be. Jesus be a dentist and some denture cream. I turned back around because I figured he wanted me to move to the side so he could reach the candy counter. He tapped me on my shoulder again. I turned around and before I could even get my mouth fixed to ask him what he wanted, he started singing.

Man (singing):  “You are the sunshine of my liiiiiiiifffeeeee…..”

Man (talking): “So what brings you here this morning?”

Me: “I’m getting gas and heading to work”

Man: “See that’s what I like, an independent woman. And you’re thick too!? I bet you would look cute on my arm at the movies”

Me: “I don’t think my husband would appreciate that much”

Man: “Well I can’t say I didn’t try. It’s always some fine women up in here!”

It was finally my turn in line and as I was leaving, I peeked over my shoulder and saw him give me the hollaback nod. I proceeded to basically sprint to the car and laugh until I cried all the way to work. I can’t take it!

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6 thoughts on “Only Me

  1. Hilarious! I love the, “And you’re thick too?” comment. Ha ha! You probably made his day with that brief conversation! It’s not just you, crazy things happen to me ALL the time. I try to blog about some of them, but don’t I think folks would believe most of them.

  2. Laughing picturing this. I never know what to say to those types – luckily, we don’t have many here in Central Oregon but I remember plenty from my days in Seattle and San Fran.

    Sweet that you tolerated his attentions and were nice to him. So many people are just mean or cold.

  3. Laughing picturing this. I never know what to say to those types – luckily, we don’t have many here in Central Oregon but I remember plenty from my days in Seattle and San Fran.

    Sweet that you tolerated his attentions and were nice to him. So many people are just mean or cold. Probably made his day.

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