Sick…The View from the Couch

So I’m home sick for the third day in a row. Who the hell gets the flu in the middle of June?? I guess that’d be me, obviously. But being on the couch all day has given me the chance to get caught up on some TV watching. Comedy all day.

A Maury episode was on where the men were really controlling and the women were meek little mild things trying to assert themselves. Of course they had the guest on who was in a wheelchair, paralyzed by her controlling abusive arse husband and the “motivational speaker” guest who’d been in prison for beating on his woman.

The paralyzed lady showed the girls how hard it is to live as a handicapped person while the man took the boys to jail to try and scare them straight. By the end of the show all the men were sorry and all but one couple stayed together.

Then came an episode with a girl testing 50-11 dudes who may be the father of her kid(s). You are not the father!!! $%^&*( and tears ensue. Run backstage, yell and scream at dude. Same ish different people. But somehow you get drawn to the trainwreck.

Change channels to “The V.iew” watch the women cackle about whatever hot topic was on. Watch them coo over some makeovers or something. Catch Jada Pinkett-Smith on the show. Set DVR to record that new show she’s in.

Change to the news. Daaaaaamn. We’re on some end of days-type path right now. People getting shot up at the museum, white supr.emacists living down the street, finding dead bodies next to an elementary school, another kidnapping, economy gone bad, never ending rain. Catch us on the 6PM news.

Take a nap, wake up in time for Dr. Phil. Seriously? You’re still on TV? Still giving “let’s get real” advice. I guess if that kind of thing works for you. If you like it I love it.

Change the channel to the judge shows. Whhhyy whyyyy oh whyyy does it have to always be Starqueeda with the hard orange weave suing Ray Ray ‘nem over an unpaid cable/cellphone bill or trying to sue Booomquisha cuz she stole her man and wants pain and suffering? Or why is it the crazy azz cat lady suing because someone reported her nasty cat hoarding behind to the police? Or better yet, Becky ‘nem suing the hell out of the whole sorority house cuz someone effed up and didn’t pay their part of the bill for the trip to Cancun. “OMG, don’t you know my dad’s a laywer!!??”

Oooh, Opr.ah is on. All those that eshew Jesus in favor of Lady O, it’s time for church.

Another nap, hey I do have the flu after all.

Yay D made me soup! Yay again, my bestie came to chill for a while! News on again, hilarious warning about not taking Vi.agra off the street. Dude in GA got some that was laced with growth hormone and had to go to the ER to get his hard times adjusted. Crying laughter. D just shaking his head.

Bestie’s on her way home. Turn to one of the celeb-following TV shows. “Ohnoshedidn’t….” “Jen, Brad, Angie….” Me: zzzzzzzzzzzz……..

Wake up in time for late night TV. Laugh and zzzzzzzzz…….

Wake up in the am and start all over again and that’s where I am now. It’s about time for a nap. Sick days are great. *rolling eyes*


3 thoughts on “Sick…The View from the Couch

  1. I love, love, LOVE watching Maury when I’m off during the week. Paternity test day is the best!! Don’t even get me started on reality court shows. I could go allllllllll day looooooooooooong watching. lol

    I forgot about Jada’s new show. I’ll try and check it out online if I can find it….and if I remember.

    I’m sorry you’re under the weather. Feel better soon!!!

  2. I feel so guilty when I get caught up in shows like Maury. When they are on, you can’t look away, but as soon as they go off you feel so dirty. Like you were just peeping through the window looking at some foolishness that you had no business seeing.

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