Change My Status…

Statistics being what they are, I was already getting worried about the integrity institution of marriage but over the last few weeks as wedding season has come to a close, I’ve heard more than a few comments along these lines:

“If I change my (Faceb.ook) status from ‘married’ to ‘it’s complicated’ or ‘single’,  that’ll make him listen”


“I can’t wait to get married so I can change my FB and let my ex see just how happy I am”

and this one from my coworker made me cringe:

“When I get married, I’m going to wear a t-shirt that says “Bride” for a few weeks after so I can keep getting all of the attention”

I’m all about different strokes for different folks and I know people approach making that hopefully lifelong commitment in different ways, but I’m truly worried that marriage is quickly becoming simply a status symbol. Not so much in the way that marrying a baller or becoming a trophy wife would be a status symbol, but moreso a status symbol like getting your driver’s license and car is when you turn 16. Just something to do because everyone else does it and you want to be one of the cool kids.

I’m not one of those people to protest to the government about how we need to better this country’s family values and make marriage count more. That’s not necessary and I also don’t think that marriage is for everyone. I’m just saddened that somewhere along the lines marriage went from something you work for and something sacred to something that’s as trivial as a FB status or bride T-shirt.

When D and I decided to get married, please believe I wasn’t worried about my ex seeing that my last name changed or making sure that everyone around me, down to the bagger at the grocery store knew that I am now MRS. some-damn-body. We appreciated, honored, and pondered the fact that our worlds would never be the same–from last name changes, to filing taxes, and the fact that in God’s eyes we’re a team till death before taking that step. I just wish more people would stop worrying about the wedding and worry about the marriage.

Yeah, it was kind of fun to go on FB and change my status and watch as D did the same, but I dunno…I’m just rambling now. You get what I’m saying. Hit me up in the comment box if you’d like.


5 thoughts on “Change My Status…

  1. I think people take FB way too seriously as it is (ie, should I add this or that person as a friend, if I do should I let them have full access or partial, etc, etc, etc).

    I totally understand your underlying point though. I still think there a plenty of people that value and respect marriage. It’s just that the buffoons going around saying dumb shit like what you posted makes it for them to stand out these days.

  2. I couldn’t agree with you more about this. An Ex-bestie of mine was engaged when she found out her man was cheating. She married him anyway and told me that well if it doesn’t work, I believe in divorce. I thought that was such the wrong attitude to have. Her relationship/wedding put a huge strain on our friendship and now it is non-existent.

  3. I agree with you AR Gal. Some people stay on facebook way too much like they have nothing else to do with their lives. Some stay on during work hours all day and some even stay on while they are off work hours. If all of your time is spent on facebook like that maybe you need to reconnect yourself with REAL individuals.

  4. As much as I love FB, it’s entertainment. I agree. People take FB way too seriously.

    I feel nowadays, people are getting married for the wrong reasons or getting married just to be married. I had a friend who dated a guy, got engaged and married all within six months. I ended up being the evil single woman and we hardly talked, but she kept in touch with the friends who were married or in relationships. Well she is now separated and going through a divorce. Now she’s trying to reach out. NOPE! I Can’t do that.

    I would love to get married one day, but I want a good marriage. I don’t want to get married just to change my FB status. Geez!

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