Relationship Mumbling

Over the last few weeks and months, the conversations about black women not being able to find a halfway decent man have come to a head on TV, online, and on the radio. We keep hearing the statistics about how few (black) women get married, how piss poor black men seem to be, etc etc. The stories aren’t always about black chicks — there are some of every race in the TV spots especially — but the message is always the same. I’m tired of hearing about the subject, so I’m mumbling…

-Why do “they” make it seem like a good black man is as rare as a unicorn? Good men of every color exist and are just trying to find a good woman to spend their life with.

-If all these men really are worthless, how did they become that way? Were they raised by wolves? Even if they have trifling parents, shouldn’t they see through life experience that trifling always begets trifling and make at least a half-hearted attempt to do better?

-Speaking of trifling parents, are we really supposed to believe that parents are spitting out these n’er do well sons, but super-great daughters? Someone’s responsible for the good women out there, and chances are some of those people had sons at some point, so in theory shouldn’t the sons be as good as the daughters?

-An educated (black) woman does not always equal a good (black) woman. I’m so tired of seeing chicks with a couple of degrees but the attitude of a hot sack of shit and not a loving bone in their bodies act like they’re entitled to a good man. This goes for men too. You want your mate to be at your level, but if you act like you’re too good to give a compliment or like you did something special by going to college and paying your bills (which you should do if you’re an adult) you might find yourself alone for a long time.

-If you keep attracting trash, your problem may not be what’s out there. Your problem may be you.

-A relationship is about give and take. Not gimme gimme gimme. What are you bringing to the table besides a pack of gum and a bus pass?

-If your credit score is -15 and you make $6/hr, you have no right to demand of your mate a perfect FICO score and $100k plus per year. Seriously, how are you going to say s/he better have their stuff together, but when you pull back the curtain your stuff is a real-life representation of hot mess?

I don’t believe the statistics, but even if they were true I try not to give them too much credence. When you listen to the numbers and let them get to you, the negativity becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.


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