Busted Up

For the last few years I’ve had a really rough time with TMJ. My jaw locks and clicks and pops…sounding much like a bootleg bowl of Rice Krisipies when it wants to. For years there was no pain involved, just the annoying noise and occasional lock up. Fast forward to last year. I was in paaaain and my jaw would just lock closed for inordinate amounts of time. One day it was stuck closed for 6 or 7 hours. The lockups would send me to the ER or urgent care and I’d be sent home with an Rx for painkillers and instructions to follow up with my dentist.

I never took the last part seriously until one day my jaw got locked open. I had to ride train home with my mouth wide open looking like I was either trying to catch flies or prepare myself for the bl*w job olympics (sorry, my mind is crazy raunchy today…blame the painkillers). I made a beeline for the dentist who sent me to the oral surgeon. Of course, just before Christmas, I had to have surgery. I was fine with it though…no more popping, clicking, locking, or pain. I thought I was cured forever but I should have known better.

Over the last few months, I’ve been experiencing soreness and fatigue in my jaw. I’d wake up in the morning feeling like I’d been chewing stale gummy bears all night. I knew I was headed back down the road to oral surgeryville but figured I had a few months before things got crazy. On Saturday morning, though, I woke up and I couldn’t get my mouth open at all. Like –” ma’am you’ll be drinking your meals through a straw type” stuff. Of course the oral surgeon isn’t open on the weekends and one emergency phone call later, I was headed for the urgent care yet again. Of course the urgent care can’t do anything but give me muscle relaxers and pain meds, so I was really on my own for the weekend. I had to grab hold of my face and actually move my jaw around so I could eat. D wanted to get ice cream so I was at the ice cream place looking like crazytown holding my face and mushing the stuff around my mouth. *I half think he took me there to embarass me as a way to get back at me for making him clean out the garage*

So anyway, I was FINALLY able to get to the oral surgeon yesterday. I figured he’d inject some medical-grade WD-40 in my jaw and send me on my way. Absolutely not. “Ms. Natasha, I’m going to have to operate on that right now”. With those words I saw pain, more pain, and dollar signs. After watching his secretary assault my credit card (because they make you pay up front and will send the claim to your insurance to have you reimbursed), I went back.

An IV of whatever anesthesia and an hour later I was done. The surgeon said, “Wow! I basically had to break your jaw to get things realigned. You’ll be really sore for a day or so but you can go back to work when you feel ready.” The secretary looked at me and said, “yikes” as I was being wheeled out of the office. That right there let me know that I wouldn’t be going back to work today.

So here I am, still swollen and looking like I went twelve rounds with a lead pipe. The painkillers I got plus naps on the couch are like little pearls from heaven for me. I’m working from home thankfully and my boss said, “I’m going to need you to stay home” after I sent a picture of myself post-surgery. I’m not sure if I should be offended or not!

Anyway, I’m finally getting through some things on my nook (so much for working, right?) and I believe it’s about time for another couch nap. Happy Wednesday 🙂



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