After reading this story about a woman being charged with felony child endangerment for taking her six year old daughter to tanning salons. The interwebs is abuzz with the story, of course. I sincerely hope she didn’t put the baby in the tanning bed with her, especially since her daughter is a fair-skinned redhead. All the fair-skinned redheads I know say they don’t tan, but instead burn (I have no experience with suburns, so I have to go with what others tell me). Anyway, I saw the mug shot and I was like, “Umm…no. Not cute”, but then I saw a taped interview she did and this is what she looked like:
“Doo doo brown” means something completely different to me now. My girl looks like a 75-year old catcher’s mitt or a pair of old riding boots that have been polished to within an inch of their lives and left out in the sun to dry. I’m not sure if she’s that dark in the video because of makeup or what, especially since she looks a bit lighter in her mugshot. No matter what, that shit ain’t cute. People keep talking about tanorexia, but word? Ma’am, you don’t see your face looking like a pair of broke down cowboy boots? You don’t notice that your daughter is 50-11 shades lighter than you? Is this the opposite of what Michael Jackson was suffering from?? He just kept getting lighter, likely because this woman was sucking the black off of him in the middle of the night. Melanin vampireress.
Now she’s lashing out at people and saying that anyone who doesn’t agree with how she’s living is fat, ugly, and jealous of her. *scratches head* I didn’t have to get my melanin from a tan bed. I was born with it, and I have all my teeth. So I guess her theory is busted.
I don’t have many words for this one. All I can say is the tan booth has fried her damn brain cells. I hope the authorities find out just what happened with her daughter and remove her if needed. And for her sake, I hope she can stay out of the sun for a while. Shoe polish brown isn’t a normal skin color, boo.